Nobody gets married thinking that the marriage will end badly (I suppose some of them will imagine it), and that is where you have to remember that every sad divorce begins with a happy marriage. To divorce, you only need to be married.
Let’s find out what your philosophy is with respect to money
Before there is a conversation about joint bank accounts and place for the honeymoon, we must find out what philosophy that person has with respect to money. Discussing your personal financial philosophy can be a pleasant experience for both you and your partner, as it will help you to know each other.
Financial priorities of our partner
It is curious that the majority of marriages, instead of improving their joint finances by having 2 salaries, what they do is to borrow much more and worsen the economy. Ask him what his priorities and financial concerns are. Do you want to save for when our children are older ?, Do you want to save for our retirement ?, Do you want to save to buy a luxurious car with which you have been dreaming for 5 years or for that luxurious house that comes in the decoration magazines ?.
Imagine for a moment that you do not talk about this topic before you get married, and when you have saved a small fortune, your partner says he wants to fulfill his dream and spend it on “whatever”. And that does not seem like a good idea to you, so it’s better to treat it from the beginning.
Goals in life.
Imagine that the goal in your wife’s life is to be an excellent housewife and caretaker of her children. His (very respectable) idea is not to work and prosper at work. Her dream is to be a mother. That thought has absolutely nothing wrong. The issue would be if that thought, as a man, enters into your plans and you are able to generate income to support the family.
On the other side we would have a very common cause of “worsening marital”, and that is that a woman marries a very ambitious man, CEO of a company. After 5 years of marriage, the company goes bankrupt and the man must work as a waiter, sweeper, clerk … And the typical words sound like: “I did not marry a waiter”. Try to find out if they marry for you or your profession, because life goes around a lot.
Listen to the signals.
“People tell us what they are like, but we ignore it because we want it to be the way we would like it to be” (Mad Men)
A person really tells you if it is superficial or material. You just have to listen to it and observe it carefully. In the case that person is superficial and you are beautiful, there is no problem. The real problem is that this person is very material and you are poor, pretending to be wealthy so that it does not escape you. This situation happens very often.
Debts.
Couples must be completely transparent about their financial situation. If you have loans or previous credits, maintenance of children of other couples, we must say it. Make sure your partner knows your financial situation (especially if it is bad).
Many people do not do it for fear that the other person will reject them. We must bear in mind that we are going to marry a person that encompasses a series of circumstances. We are going to marry that person and their circumstances. “Love me or reject me now.”
Prenuptial agreement, separation of goods (or similar according to the country)
It is not usually fun to talk about separation of property to the love of your life, but that separation of assets will only serve to protect your assets before marriage in case of divorce.
However, it is foolish to expose the separation of assets when there are no really important assets, but if there is too much difference between the assets of both spouses, the separation of property should be mandatory, and more if there are children from previous relationships.
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